“You have two very different kinds of players here, one plays receiver and cornerback, the other is an every down running back,” said one Heisman voter on deep background via Zoom early Sunday morning. “So we had to ask ourselves, in what statistical category was there overlap? The answer was one: the pose.”

When reminded that Ashton Jeanty led the nation in virtually every rushing statistic, our source brushed it off.

“Yeah, but he was only posing after those trademark 70-yard touchdown runs. By the end of the season, Travis was doing the Heisman after first downs, PIs, he even did one after dropping a pass from Shedeur,” the voter continued. “It was really a masterclass in marketing. If you caught any portion of any one of Colorado’s games this year, you were bombarded by images of Hunter striking the pose. For us Heisman voters, by year’s end, that was difficult to ignore,” our source concluded.

Following post-game comments in which Sawvel referred to himself as “a horse-shit coach,” BS Compost and Sawvel announced in a joint press release that the Carpenter, Wyoming-based manure producer and the Cowboys head coach were entering into a promotional partnership together.

“At BS, we pride ourselves on being nimble and savvy enough to capitalize on timely promotional opportunities when they present themselves. We’d call this a timely promotional opportunity.“

The press release also clarified that it doesn’t in fact sell “horseshit,” and that part of the new agreement stipulated that Sawvel would pivot to using the term “bullshit” during any future outbursts.