“It’s a shock. We didn’t see this coming, if we’re being honest,” said Brent Venables at Tuesday’s media availability. For the Sooners, it’s just one more in a long list of departures since the transfer portal opened this week.

Boomer wasn’t reachable at press time, but SMU is thought to be his top target. As for Oklahoma, they’ll be looking to the very same transfer portal to beef up the stable going into 2025.

“We’ve got our eyes on some guys that we think can contribute next year. There’s a ranch outside of town with some Shetlands that we’re pretty excited about, and there’s some donkeys we’ve got targeted right now as well. With the right nutrition, with the right offseason weight program, we see potential for development with any one of those guys. We’ll be in a much better position going into next year,” Venables concluded.

“At first, I figured it had something to do with the burgeoning cannabis industry here in Oklahoma, but then I saw the order notes said, ‘Boomer!’ and were supposed to be delivered to the football facility, so I put two and two together.”

When asked what kinds of items Venables favored, the manager said Venables likes a good variety.

“Crunch Wrap Supreme, obviously, everyone loves that. Mexican Pizza, Nachos BellGrande, a lot of the classics,” said the Assistant General Manager.

“I was under the impression that he’s planning on freezing as much as he can to stock up while prices are still reasonable,” the manager concluded.

CFB News Now can only speculate on the effect the added Taco Bell consumption will have on the football team’s plumbing system, but updates will be published as they are received.

“FAU could work,” said Lincoln Riley, beleaguered head coach of the USC Trojans. “Good location and low expectations for football and brisket. I’ve already got a line of communication open with the AD there if this thing continues to go sideways.”

“Gus is on track to wind things up at UCF right about the same time I’ll be done in Norman,” said Brent Venables, head coach of the .500 Oklahoma Sooners. “Plus I’m a big Harry Potter guy, so it’ll be nice to be that close to the amusement park.”

“I would have to say FIU tops my list,” said LSU Tigers head coach Brian Kelly. “Miami is such a melting pot, everyone speaks different languages, it’s nice. No need to learn the lingo to try to fit in.”

“Hold on guys, I’m getting another call,” said Sherrone Moore who logged on late. “What’s that,” Moore could be heard saying in the background. “He flipped? YES!” Turning back to the camera to address the group, Moore exclaimed, “Sorry guys, gotta go,” and logged off abruptly.