“Lest I remind you that Notre Dame is an independent, so in my book, with referee Steve Marlowe & Co. being there, we feel comfortable saying this was a Big Ten-SEC championship game,” Sankey said via FaceTime during the first quarter of the Notre Dame-Ohio State game.

“The teams of our conference should have been here—and undoubtedly would have been here—if not for Parker Jones, or if Steve Sarkisian knew what a halfback dive was. Couple little tweaks here and there and it wouldn’t be just the officiating crew that made the trip to Atlanta tonight,” Sankey said.

What does that mean for the SEC’s claim to still being the most dominant league in the sport? Status quo, Sankey said.

“Look, it just means more in the SEC, what don’t you get about that?” Sankey said, apparently beginning to lose his patience.

“Ole Miss woulda beat either one of these teams anyway, so this championship is ours,” Sankey yelled before hanging up abruptly.

“This might just be the evidence we were looking for to prove that Parker was really out to sabotage Georgia in the CFP quarterfinal,” said an irate Georgia staffer on the condition of anonymity via Google Hangouts early Thursday morning.

“The last name ‘Jones’ might throw you off, because it’s clearly Welsh, but our research indicates that Parker’s great great grand-parents might have strayed across the border a time or two,” the staffer said.

What about the Catholic part of the equation? Our anonymous source said religious affiliations so far back are tougher to verify, but that the Georgia faithful are actively working on it.

“With a little help from some web sleuths in the Athens area, we’re going to get to the bottom of it. If it turns out that one of Jones’ forebears was a man or woman of the cloth, I think we’ll have the information we need to go public with our accusations,” the source concluded.