“FAU could work,” said Lincoln Riley, beleaguered head coach of the USC Trojans. “Good location and low expectations for football and brisket. I’ve already got a line of communication open with the AD there if this thing continues to go sideways.”

“Gus is on track to wind things up at UCF right about the same time I’ll be done in Norman,” said Brent Venables, head coach of the .500 Oklahoma Sooners. “Plus I’m a big Harry Potter guy, so it’ll be nice to be that close to the amusement park.”

“I would have to say FIU tops my list,” said LSU Tigers head coach Brian Kelly. “Miami is such a melting pot, everyone speaks different languages, it’s nice. No need to learn the lingo to try to fit in.”

“Hold on guys, I’m getting another call,” said Sherrone Moore who logged on late. “What’s that,” Moore could be heard saying in the background. “He flipped? YES!” Turning back to the camera to address the group, Moore exclaimed, “Sorry guys, gotta go,” and logged off abruptly.

“He wouldn’t put it down,” said our source via text messages early Thursday morning. “He was obsessed.”

When asked which team Herman spent the majority of his time building up in the digital realm, our source elaborated further.

“He loved to start at a small school like Houston or Louisville or something, kick ass, and then get offered his dream job, preferably at Texas. Then, he would run up the score and recruit like crazy until he had nothing but 5-stars across the board with names like Champ Hixon and William Blankenship. Stuff like that.”

When asked why Herman wouldn’t play on a more advanced setting, our source replied simply, “Winning is hard.”