“His SERP rankings are plummeting,” said SEO expert Sam Reynolds early Saturday morning via RingCentral remote teleconference. “It’s precipitous.”

What kind of search results are replacing Cignetti’s more favorable content?

“I’m seeing the query ‘Cignetti Fraud’ take up a lot more space on page one after a couple of non-competitive games against the toughest opponents on IU’s schedule,” said Reynolds.

And what does Reynolds think Cignetti can do to get the Google gods back in his corner? Just win, baby.

“If he goes in a knocks Ohio State off in the Shoe, or he‘d been able to get a dub last night, I think Google would be much kinder to him,” Reynolds said.

“Then again, there’s always Bing,” the SEO expert concluded.

“I know ties aren’t a thing anymore, but man…I sure wish they were,” said Connor Caplan, a mechanical engineering student and frequent breakfast club organizer.

“On the one hand, you have Notre Dame, a football school with a bunch of fans who didn’t go there. On the other hand, you can’t spell ‘FAILURE’ without IU,” said a clearly inebriated Kelly McIntyre, a junior in the environmental sciences school. “Boiler up!” she shouted as she chased a mouthful of popcorn down with a shot of 151.

“Why couldn’t we have some kind of weather event in South Bend?” said Purdue alum Jeff Williams over a pitcher of beer. “Nothing serious, not with anyone getting hurt or anything, but just enough to postpone the game, like…forever,” Williams concluded.