“Do they taste as good? No, but they’re a little healthier, and for the gluten-free crowd, this is long overdue,” said Drew Ingraham, Texas Tech’s Associate Athletics Director of Communications & Marketing via Slack Huddle on Wednesday.

The tortillas, supplied by Lubbock-based El Molino Tortilla Factory, will come in packs of six and 12.

“Here’s the deal: flour tortillas are a little heavier, having been made from lard, so that’s going to be the superior option on windy days. Which, as anyone who’s watched a game in the Texas High Planes knows, the wind can really kick up around here.”

“On the other hand, corn tortillas have better rotational velocity, so they’ll go farther than flour with less deviation from the initial tossing vector,” Ingraham said.

“Based on data from years past, we know that roughly half of the tortillas get eaten by fans and the other half end up on the field. Occasionally, even those that end up on the field get eaten anyway,” said Ingraham, referring to an unfortunate incident in 2024 in which a Colorado Buffaloes staffer ended up consuming a tortilla which had spent a good portion of the second half of the game in Travis Hunter’s game pants.

Those wondering about the optics of such a considerate move at a university which made headlines last year for a notable show of conservatism on the part of one of its players need not worry; the new gluten-free option doesn’t mean Tech is going “woke.”

“We’ve got a good balance of viewpoints at this school, and heck, even republicans have dietary restrictions,” Ingraham concluded.

“What can we say, he got hungry,” said CU head coach Deion Sanders during Monday’s media availability.

“What happened was, our training staff skipped breakfast at the hotel in Lubbock, because the Red Roof Inn was out of instant scrambled eggs. No big deal, they’re tough. But once we got back to Boulder, those guys were loading up the washing machines, and BAM, out falls a warm and puffy flour tortilla that Travis had saved during the 3rd quarter. Our trainer was so hungry by that point, he just went for it.”

Coach Sanders said that the trainer, who Colorado refuses to name, hasn’t suffered any gastrointestinal complications yet, but that the Buffs were keeping an eye on him.

Updates will be published as they are received.

“He’s just a quality young man, a real class act. He’s exactly the type of player we can see contributing to the Chiefs organization, and who would really fit in nicely in our kicking room,” the scout said.

“Harrison isn’t going to play forever, so it’s important that we have a successor of similar politi—err, skills and work ethic, to pick up the mantle when he’s done,” our source continued.

When reminded that Burkhardt missed a field goal which ultimately meant the difference between a win and a loss for the Red Raiders, the scout qualified his enthusiasm for the young kicker.

“Yeah, he missed, but he missed right. We can work with a kicker who goes right. What you don’t want is a kicker too far to the left,” the Chiefs scout concluded.