Jesus psyched about Notre Dame advancing to CFP semifinals

By Editor-in-Chief

January 2, 2025

Earth – A late night prayer session with Jesus Christ revealed that our Heavenly Father was super pumped about Notre Dame’s 23-10 victory over the Georgia Bulldogs in the College Football Playoff quarterfinals at the Sugar Bowl on Thursday night.

“I’m just so proud of these guys. They worked hard, obviously, but more importantly, they were DEVOUT. And that goes a long way in my book,” Jesus said via telepathy.

Where is Jesus planning on watching the semifinal vs Penn State, you might be wondering? Well, apparently that’s still up in the air.

“Dad won’t let me hook up the big screen on Fridays, so that’s out. I’d love to try to catch some of it in Rome or Meggido, but I don’t want people to think I’m back, back, you know what I mean? On the other hand, it would also be nice to catch up with some friends, so we’ll see what happens,” Jesus said.

Does his support of Notre Dame express favoritism amongst his terrestrial children that some of his followers might not appreciate? Not exactly, Jesus explained.

“I’ve actually got a little parlay going, including taking Penn State with the points, so my goal is, by game day, it’s a win-win, I can feel good about it no matter what happens,” the son of God concluded.