Leak trace confirms Michigan’s worst nightmare: “The call is coming from inside the Big House!”

By Editor-in-Chief

February 1, 2025

Ann Arbor, Michigan – Michigan faithful were taken aback earlier this week when the school’s 137-page rebuttal to the NCAA’s Notice of Allegations revealed that the Connor Stalions sign-stealing tip came from within the Michigan football program itself.

“You might as well have told the whole program there was as serial killer in the locker room watching them from inside one of the lockers. That’s how shocked everyone was,” said Neal Broom, Computer Forensics Lab Director at Technical Resource Center Computer Forensics via Google Hangouts on Tuesday afternoon.

“We’ve been working on the technical forensic analysis of this particular case for a while now, and we had a breakthrough recently. Needless to say, the revelation was…chilling. What a twist,” Broom said.

Early speculation surrounding the nature of the whistle-blowing seemed to focus on arch rival Ohio State, but Michigan’s own response to the NCAA released on Monday slashed that narrative for good. The Columbus Dispatch was quick to emphasize that point and absolve the hometown Ohio State Buckeyes of any sabotage or wrongdoing in the turmoil surrounding their arch rivals.

Broom, for his part, speculated on what this terrifying twist means for the Michigan football program.

“This development is a scary part one, but if the NCAA decides to take away the natty? That’ll make for a horrifying sequel for Michigan fans everywhere,” Broom concluded.