Following spate of defiled midfield logos, facilities managers discuss vandalism suppression tactics

By CFBNN Staff

December 6, 2024

After a weekend that saw midfield logos desecrated the nation over, college football facilities managers from all over the country gathered in a virtual Zoom meeting on Friday to discuss anti-vandalism strategies and techniques.

“We’re looking at some things, maybe an electric fence that automatically deploys as soon as the clock strikes zero,” said North Carolina’s Director of Field & Turf Conditions Nate Bloomfield. “What little research I’ve done on the matter indicates that those are effective against wolves, so that’s what we’re trying first.”

“Not to get too medieval,” said Kelly Anderson, Ohio State’s Director of Competitive Surfaces, “but we’re looking at some kind of spiked, metal thong-like device, almost like a chastity belt for the field. Something like that to protect the logo’s virtue from those Michigan Men could work.”

“Do we even still have a team?” Asked Florida State’s Facilities & Equipment Manager Scott Addison.

“Until Jimbo’s buyout is done, we’re on a budget freeze. The Longhorns can do whatever they want to the field,” said Texas A&M’s Head of Stadium Conditions Kevin Dunmeister.