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November 4, 2024
Montgomery, Alabama – While it’s not awards season yet, the state of Alabama isn’t waiting to bestow a unique honor on Vanderbilt star quarterback Diego Pavia.
“We thought it was an aberration when he was at New Mexico State, but now at Vandy, too? He has, in one way or another, antagonized every citizen of the great state of Alabama,” said Chris Inabinett, Director of Alabama’s Bureau of Investigation. “He’s a menace, and he must be dealt with.”
“We take what happens on the grid iron very seriously here,” said Inabinett, “And nobody, I mean NOBODY, ends their career undefeated to Alabama programs. It’s just unheard of.”
“Is it a crime what he’s done to the football teams of this state?” Inabinett continued. “ABI doesn’t comment on ongoing investigations, but I can tell you this: it’s serious enough that it warrants further inquiry. I’m not saying he’s our top priority right now, but we have long memories ’round here. I can simply say he’s a person of interest, and we’re looking into what prosecutorial remedies might exist to bring him to justice,” concluded the ABI’s top cop.
