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March 16, 2025
Washington, D.C. – The trade war escalated on Sunday morning as President Donald Trump announced the US government would be assessing a 100% tariff on Columbia University football tickets starting in the 2025 season as further retribution for the pro-Palestine demonstrations that have been taking place on the Ivy League school’s campus. The latest measure is in addition to the federal government cancelling $400 million in grants to the private university and arresting and deporting at least two pro-Palestinian students.
“The president promised an end to DEI, illegal protesting, and liberal indoctrination more generally. Nowhere are those movements more entrenched than academia. Ivy League schools are ground zero for wokeness, as they have effectively become propaganda brainwashing machines for the corrupt democrat (sic) party, as evidenced by the pro-Palestine protests that have transpired on Columbia’s campus,” said Trump’s press secretary Karoline Leavitt on Sunday from the James S. Brady Press Briefing Room in the West Wing.
“The American people are tired of wokeness and all of its excesses. If the liberal students are going to protest, then they’re going to pay for it at the ticket office when it comes time to gain entrance to their beloved Columbia Lions football games this fall. That should give the dozens of students who attend home football games and who are also thinking of illegally protesting some pause before doing so,” Leavitt continued.
When asked if the administration’s focus on combatting and punishing those who indulge in anti-semitism included any kind of formal repercussions for Elon Musk’s latest expression of Hitler minimization, Leavitt ignored the question and moved on.
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