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February 4, 2025
Columbus, Ohio – A new survey has revealed that former Ohio State defensive coordinator Jim Knowles’ popularity among the people of Ohio has reached an all-time low after his surprise defection for Penn State was followed by pictures of him wearing an “Ohio State SUCKS” baseball cap only weeks after helping guide the Buckeyes to the 2024 national championship.
“First he skips out on the national championship parade, then he puts on the hat? Does this guy just want to fear for his personal safety when in the state of Ohio?” said Dana Popky, Associate Panel Manager at Pew Research in Washington, D.C. via Zoom remote conference early Tuesday morning.
“These types of surveys are usually pretty mundane, and Arnold has held the #1 spot in most U.S. states for close to 240 years. So to have someone new dislodge Arnold from the top of the list—a freaking college football coach, no less—was a huge surprise for us. If nothing else, it goes to show just how seriously the people of Ohio take football,” Popky said.
“‘Jim Knowles’ wasn’t even on the list of options, he was written in so many times as an ‘Other’ choice,” Popky went on.
What would it take for Benedict Arnold to reclaim the throne? Not possible, says Popky.
“At this stage, I just don’t see it happening,” Popky concluded.
