January 9, 2025
Athens, Georgia – Georgia fans might have just gotten a breakthrough in the case of the interfering walk-on after some in-depth genealogy research performed via analyses of publicly available databases and some simple Googling revealed that the defensive back in question Parker Jones may have Irish ties after all.
“This might just be the evidence we were looking for to prove that Parker was really out to sabotage Georgia in the CFP quarterfinal,” said an irate Georgia staffer on the condition of anonymity via Google Hangouts early Thursday morning.
“The last name ‘Jones’ might throw you off, because it’s clearly Welsh, but our research indicates that Parker’s great great grand-parents might have strayed across the border a time or two,” the staffer said.
What about the Catholic part of the equation? Our anonymous source said religious affiliations so far back are tougher to verify, but that the Georgia faithful are actively working on it.
“With a little help from some web sleuths in the Athens area, we’re going to get to the bottom of it. If it turns out that one of Jones’ forebears was a man or woman of the cloth, I think we’ll have the information we need to go public with our accusations,” the source concluded.