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November 26, 2024
Chapel Hill, North Carolina – For the North Carolina Tar Heels football team, a season that started with so much promise is ending with a thud. Today is was announced that head coach Mack Brown will not return for the 2025 season.
Senior Associate Athletic Director Robbi Evans confirmed that Brown couldn’t immediately be located to be told of his termination yesterday, but was later located in the equipment closet curled up in a fetal position and clutching a small Vince Young statuette, whimpering softly and muttering repeatedly to himself “Miss you…miss you…miss you…”
“He’s really beat up about how tenure #2 went here. He did such a good job the first-go round, which obviously allowed him to get the gig down in Austin. He thought when he came back, he’d be able to find that once-in-a-generation talent again to build a program around, and he simply hasn’t been able to do that,” said Evans.
Brown wasn’t made available for comment, but athletic administrators say he is now aware of the news. We’re told he spent the remainder of Monday resting and watching re-runs of the 2005 National Championship game.
